I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
