I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
