she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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