i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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