I think I am morally bankrupt
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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