yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
