I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize