Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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