Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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