Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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