I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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