it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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