Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
As shirtless as possible
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
