Me. At least after what I've been through.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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