oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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