Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
