So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
