I CAN MOONWALK!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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