i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
