I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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