just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
