I wannas sexs uuuuu
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize