Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
