you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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