My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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