The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
