Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
