thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize