About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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