Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The struggles of a small town man whore
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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