Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He has the fingertips of a God
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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