I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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