im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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