I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
