why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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