My room smells like vodka and shame
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
