I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
