NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
