Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
