she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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