Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
