im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
