my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
