better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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