can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
