Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think people are normalizing furries
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
