just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
