My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
