Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
