walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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