i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
