Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize