Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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