he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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