Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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