OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
