i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I need moral support for this bender
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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