She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
