honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
