Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
