every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
