Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
