Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
