Girls should come with a carfax report
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
