Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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